


Missing Mama

by LittleMissNicap



Series: Cabenoah Universe [4]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Family, First time away from child, Fluffy Ending, Mommy heartbreak, POV Alternating, Tugging the heartstrings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-05
Updated: 2015-10-25
Packaged: 2018-04-19 04:12:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4732445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleMissNicap/pseuds/LittleMissNicap
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An extradition takes Alex to the other side of the country while Olivia stay in New York with Noah. How will all three handle being away from each other overnight for the first time since Noah came into their lives? Two shot. (Chocolate and Glasses/Cabenoah universe; Story #4 in a series)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Alex

**Author's Note:**

> AN: I'm back with a little two shot from the Chocolate and Glasses/Cabenoah universe that was inspired by the Instagram pic on Mariska's account of her and 'Noah'. I've been wanting to write something regarding that adorable pic since it was posted, I just had to wait for my muse to come up with the story. Like all of my Cabenoah stories, they are written from both Olivia and Alex's POV's, except this one starts with Alex's POV and will conclude with Olivia's POV. I'll post the image to the Cabenoah board (link on my lookup) for those that mightn't know what Instagram image I'm referring to. Thankyou to livsgirl for helping out on the flying armed information :-). Also thankyou to trace619 for... everything ;-).
> 
> I hope readers enjoy Alex's POV (tissues might be required) and please let me know what you think :-)

" _Ladies and gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking. We will be commencing our descent into Los Angeles shortly. We ask that..._ "

Removing my earbuds then stowing them in my blazer pocket, I seemingly turn my attention to the in-flight magazine now that I can't continue watching the in-flight entertainment... not that I was really watching or listening to begin with. My mind and thoughts have been elsewhere during this almost six hour flight. Half of my thoughts have been focused on this extradition Detective Odafin Tutuola and I undertaking with an NYPD Officer from the 6th floor of the 16th Precinct that's taken the course on flying armed, Officer Preston. With John Munch and Donald Cragen now retired, it's only Amanda, Nick, Fin and Olivia holding down the fort. As much as I'd have preferred another SVU squad member along for the extradition, I can't be choosy under the circumstances. The other half of my thoughts have been 2,500 miles away back in New York... back with my beautiful fiancée and our gorgeous son.

To be honest, I shouldn't even be part of this extradition, Barba should be. Unfortunately Rafael was in court, the third day of a high profile case no less, when the call came through from the LAPD that our rapist had been arrested in downtown LA for assaulting a member of the public. Therefore as the Executive Assistant District Attorney to the Special Victims Unit, I had to take Rafael's place once all the paperwork from our end had been finalised.

Telling Olivia that I'm the one that has to fly over to the other side of the country was no problem. She understands the nature of our jobs all too well and what it can entail. She's realises I'm not leaving like I done in the past, whether it was my decision or not.

Witness Protection.

International Criminal Court.

Liv knows I'll be back in New York somewhere between 18 to 24 hours time, depending on flights and how long the extradition hearing takes.

The one individual that doesn't understand why I have to go away is Noah. He's too young to understand the horrors Olivia and I see and hear constantly relating to our jobs. Nor does he fathom the things we have to do to put away the sick bastards that commit these heinous crimes… and thank goodness he doesn't. Unfortunately, even at his young age, Noah does understand about people leaving him. He had been passed from foster carer to foster carer, usually just around the time when he was beginning to form an attachment. Since he came into mine and Olivia's life, we have provided him with stability and the nurturing he needed.

That was until six hours ago...

_Olivia glances over the top her glasses at me as she, Fin and Officer Preston go through the necessary documentation with the TSA agent to allow two members of the NYPD to fly armed. She informed me on the drive over to JFK that a teletype had been sent over NCIC to notify all federal agencies that Fin and Officer Preston would be flying armed this afternoon. With Noah on my hip, I take a moment to inhale the lingering scent of his baby shampoo. This, having to fly across the country, will be the first time either of us will be away from Noah overnight since he came into our lives. I knew it would happen one day, I just didn't expect it to happen so soon. We also both assumed Olivia would be the one to have the first night away from Noah, not myself._

_"We have to go to the gate now," Olivia says as she approaches while Fin and Officer Preston follow the TSA agent._

_"Already?" I reply, hoisting Noah higher on my hip as he clutches his fluffy caramel coloured teddy bear._

_"Need to talk to the assigned Air Marshal and flight attendants," Olivia hands me Noah's diaper bag which I loop over my arm while she picks up my attaché case. She then grabs the extended handle of my carry on at my feet and begins wheeling the small suitcase behind her._

_I'd forgotten how much needed to be done for anyone in law enforcement to fly armed but I understand why everything has to be in order. Not that I want to compare, but I know how much paperwork is involved on the legal side regarding an extradition, and this one is no different from the handful I have been involved with. Our warrant, a current photograph of our accused rapist, a copy of his fingerprints to name but a few._

_Noah begins to wriggle, indicating that he wants to be put down so he can walk. Once he has his feet on the ground and I have his teddy bear under my arm, I hold his hand so he can't scamper off. Olivia slows her pace and takes Noah's free hand and we walk as a family towards our gate._

_"Noah? Wanna play 'One, Two, Three, Whee'?" Olivia asks jovially._

_A broad grin appears showing off his eight teeth in response._

_Liv counts down, "One!... ...Two!... ...Three!... ...Wheeeeeeee!"_

_We hoist Noah off the ground a few inches before his feet are firmly back on the ground._ _His joyous laughter is music to our ears and we repeat the action, taking alternate turns counting down all the way to the gate. Once there, I keep Noah occupied with a snack of raisins and cheese cubes while Olivia joins Fin and Officer Preston to make sure everything is in order with the Air Marshal and the flight crew. I want and need to spend every moment I have left before departure with Noah. Olivia returns a few minutes later and sits down beside me._

_"I don't want you to take this the wrong way because you know I trust Fin as much as you do, but I wish you were coming with me for the extradition," I whisper, allowing Noah to take another raisin from the container my hand._

_Liv looks at me, "I wish I was too, sweetheart, but we can't both go. With waiting for Munch's replacement and still waiting to hear if we'll get someone to take Cragen's place in the foreseeable future, I have to stay here... and you know what it was like leaving Noah at day care for the first time. Thankfully he's becoming used to that now but just one of us being away overnight could upset him. I don't want to think how he's going to react with you not being there to read to him tonight."_

_I mutter with a sigh, "Don't remind me."_

_Fin sits down opposite us, "Hey Noah, my little man!"_

_A little hesitant at first Noah eventually toddles over to Fin and offers up his snack._

_Fin leans forward, "Whatcha got there?... A raisin?! No little man, I'm good. You eat it."_

_Noah pops the raisin in his mouth and returns to me. He takes a cheese cube this time, returns to Fin and offers him his new snack._

_"A cheese cube? Now you're talking, little man! Thanks!" Fin takes the offered snack and makes a show of eating it, earning a giggle from Noah and stifled laughs from Olivia and myself._

_Noah comes back and gets another cheese cube but stops when Officer Preston sits down next to Fin. He wraps his arm around Olivia's shin and calf as he attempts to bury his face into her trouser covered knee._

_"My little girl was just as shy at his age," Officer Preston comments while Olivia strokes the top of Noah's head in reassurance. "He should grow out of it eventually."_

_I'm not sure how much Officer Preston know of Noah's history but I'm not going tell him about it. I pack the container of snacks away into the diaper bag and catch Noah peeking up at me. I give him a loving smile which causes him to lift his head and smile in response._

_"Eat your snack," Liv encourages._

_Noah contemplates the cheese cube he holds with his small fingers then offers it to Olivia._

_"Mommy's not hungry, Noah. Maybe Mama would like it?"_

_After some more contemplation, Noah offers me the yellow cube which I take and eat, much to Noah's delight._

_Before too long the announcement comes that our plane is ready to board. Fin and I hang back as Officer Preston joins the queue with his ticket in hand._

_"Fin, take good care of Alex for me," Olivia says as she gives him a brief hug._

_"I don't think she needs protecting Liv... but I get what ya mean," Fin replies, discreeting tapping his gun on his hip hidden from view by this leather jacket. "See ya tomorrow, Sarg. Counsellor, I'll see you on the plane."_

_As much as I'd like to give Olivia a passionate kiss right now, neither of us like to indulge in gratuitous public displays of affection. Our lips meet and linger as we embrace._

_Olivia murmurs as we break apart, "I love you, Alex."_

_"I love you too, Olivia."_

_I pick Noah up and hold him close before kissing his temple and inhaling his scent for the last time._

_"Noah, you be a good boy for Mommy and..." I begin to choke up, "... and I'll see you really, really soon."_

_He looks at me curiously, studying my emotions that I'm trying to keep under control. I place a gentle kiss on his chubby little cheek then put him down. I gather my_ _attaché case, carry on suitcase and boarding pass and begin to head towards the dwindling queue, Noah's bottom lip begins to wobble. He raises is arms up and voices is distress with a long howl of despair. I want nothing more than to gather him up in my arms, comfort and reassure him that I'll be back tomorrow. Who knew leaving your child for the first time could shatter your heart into thousands of pieces?_

_"I've got him," Olivia reassures me as she picks up Noah and holds him close. "You go, sweetheart. We'll see you tomorrow."_

_With much reluctance, I can only reply to Olivia with a small nod and head towards the gate. I chance a look back after my ticket has been scanned and see Noah clinging to Olivia for dear life. She gives me a tight smile as she tries to calm our wailing son..._

I'm pulled from my memory by our plane landing smoothly on the runway and I take out my phone from my blazer pocket after stashing the magazine back into the seat pocket in front of me. Even though we can use our phones while flying, I prefer not to tempt fate. Switching my phone back on, I receive two text messages. One from Barba and the other from Olivia. Barba's text is just a brief summary of what happened on court and I'll reply to that when we get to the hotel. I open the other message from Olivia and see an image of her beaming at me, and holding Noah on our couch.

Only two words accompany the selfie: ' _Missing Mama xoxo_ '.

I tap out a quick reply as the passengers around me jostle for position to claim their carry on luggage:  _'Landed safely. Talk soon. Miss you both xoxoxoxo'_


	2. Olivia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in getting this chapter posted. Things have been hectic to say the least these last few weeks. I'm so glad readers enjoyed the first part, even if it was a little tugging of the heartstrings. I think this chapter will tug those same heartstrings ;-) I hope readers enjoy Olivia's POV, and please let me know what you think :-)

Shifting my reading glasses from being perched on my nose to the top of my head, I rub my eyes in an attempt to stave off another wave of drowsiness. Last night was... last night was  _not_  a good night by any stretch of the imagination.

It was the first night in quite a long time that Alex wasn't sharing our bed and being my little spoon. Yes, I've spent nights in the crib while working a tough case, but I think that I was more on working autopilot and knew Alex was either at my apartment or hers before we made it permanent and I moved in with her. However, since I became Sergeant and she became EADA for SVU, we have made a conscious effort to spend every single night together. Even moreso since Noah came into our lives when we began fostering him.

Noah clung to me like his life depended on it when Alex went to board her flight. I guess in his way of thinking with everything that's happened in his short life, his life did depend on it. I had intended to watch Alex's plane taxi away and let Noah watch to try in an attempt to wow him, but Noah was at the beginning of a full blown meltdown. I picked up his diaper bag and fluffy teddy bear, and left immediately while trying to soothe and reassure our son that his Mama would be back before he knew it. The side eye looks, eye rolls and snide comments from various coming and going passengers of  _'shut that kid up'_ ,  _'damn crying brat'_ and _'she should spank that kid and give him something to really cry about'_ didn't help any. If they only knew his history.

Trying to put Noah in his car seat was an ordeal in itself seeing he wouldn't let go of me. At one point I was considering crawling over the console to get to the drivers seat because each time I tried to move away and close the door, Noah got even more distressed. I'm sure he thought I was going to abandon him too. Even his go-to Elmo DVD that had been playing on the journey to the airport couldn't distract him. The only thing that seemed to calm him somewhat was that  _'Riptide'_  song that Alex's been singing and listen to recently. I remember coming back from the bathroom just a few nights ago and seeing Alex dancing and singing in the kitchen with Noah on her hip while she checked on dinner. Noah, for his part, was cooing and bouncing with delight as Alex spun around, waving her left hand in the air when the lyrics mentioned the same. The whole journey from JFK airport back to our apartment had that ukulele song on repeat even after Noah finally exhausted himself and succumbed to sleep.

He was much calmer when I removed him from his car seat after arriving back at the apartment, yet he wasn't his bubbly self that I've become used to since Noah's been in mine and Alex's lives. Forlorn would be a more appropriate description. I kept up our normal routine of preparing and having dinner together as a family. He kept looking over at Alex's place at the table while he ate his chicken strip and vegetables, and I could see the little cogs in his head turning, trying to understand why Alex wasn't there. I kept reassuring him that Mama would be back... she always comes back now. No matter how many times she has left in the past, I know Alex will always return.

After dinner I gave Noah a bath and dressed him in his purple and green striped pyjamas, then took him to the couch to read. It was here I took a selfie of Noah and myself to send to Alex and told her the truth... we were missing her... before settling down to read Dr Suess's  _'Oh, the Places You'll Go!'_. Noah only stayed in his bed for around half a minute after I tucked him in and kissed him good night. As I went to turn the light off, the tears began and no amount of soothing would calm him. Each time I thought he was asleep and had placed him back in his bed after walking around the apartment, he would wake up and the tears would flow again. In the end, I ended up dozing on the couch all night with Noah fast asleep on my chest while clutching his fluffy teddy bear. Alex and I aren't ones to advocate co-sleeping, however sometimes you have to do what you have to do... this was one of those rare times. Although I will admit Noah has fallen asleep on mine or Alex's chest on more than one occasion while snuggling on the couch on the weekends. I was jolted awake just as I was beginning to fall asleep when I received Alex's text a little before ten saying she had landed in Los Angeles. Thankfully, Noah didn't stir from his slumber. As much as I wanted to hear Alex's voice, I kept the conversation to just texting. I reassured her that Noah was fast asleep, that we both loved her and that everything was fine. I didn't want to worry her any more than I knew she would be... I saw that look of heartbreak on her face when Noah started wailing at the airport. What Alex doesn't know is my heart hurt right along with hers, and Noah's too.

A gentle tug on arm draws my attention to Noah holding his nearly empty straw cup beside my desk chair in the Captain's office.

Even thought I'm up to my eyeballs with paperwork being the interim commanding officer at SVU, I made the choice to take Noah to work with me today. I just didn't have the heart to leave him at day care after everything he went through yesterday afternoon and evening. Who knows how Noah will react when he does go to day care on Monday? At least Alex and I will have the weekend to reestablish the routine we set when we first fostered our son.

Right now Alex is on her way over to the 16th Precinct, having landed back in New York over an hour ago. If I'd had my way, Noah and I would've met Alex as she disembarked the plane to show and reassure our son that his Mama hasn't left or abandoned him... except that Fin and Officer Preston would have our perp in their custody for transporting to Rikers and I will not knowingly expose Noah to someone like that.

I hoist Noah up and sit him down onto the desk, ignoring the toys scattered all over the floor.

"Are you hungry, Noah?"

Receiving a nod in response, I grab a snack box filled with Cheerios, tip some of the them onto my hand, then offer them to Noah. His small index finger raises to his mouth in deep though as to which of the half a dozen or so round cereals to opt for before he picks one up between his finger and thumb and pops it in his mouth. He picks up another one and offers it to me with a look of expectation. I open my mouth and lean forward, allowing Noah to place the little cereal inside before quickly closing my mouth on his thumb while making a loud ' _chomping_ ' noise, earning me a squeal from Noah, then that beautiful giggling laugh when I let his fingers go.

A flash from the telephone alerts me to an incoming call and I answer it before it rings, "Sergeant Benson, SVU."

_"Sergeant Benson, this is Sergeant Chen down at the front desk. Just letting you know EADA Cabot has arrived and is on her way up, as per your request."_

"Thanks, Jason." As Noah takes another Cheerio from my hand, I ask the one question I'm wanting to know, "How did she look to you?" _  
_

_"Olivia, I'm happily married to my wife for the last six years. I'm not going to answer such a loaded question about your fiancée."_

I roll my eyes, "I just wanted to know if she looked tired or not."

Alex sounded tired when she called to inform me the extradition had been granted, and even moreso when she told me they'd landed.

_"Still a loaded question, Olivia."_

"You're no help!"

 _"Then my job as desk clerk is done!"_ Jason chuckles.  _"Look, you'll find out soon enough."_

I thank Jason once again then place the receiver back down on its cradle as Noah takes another Cheerio from my hand and offers it to me with a cheeky smile. I can only imagine how Noah will react when Alex walks through the door but I guess I'll find out soon enough. Remaining as calm as I can, I allow Noah to feed me his snack, when in truth I'm a mixture of various and conflicting emotions. Of course I can't wait to see Alex again, but I have a niggling worry of how Noah will react... or not.

A minute has passed when we hear a tap at the door. I look over and see that Alex looks as tired as I feel, yet she's still as breathtaking as ever.

"Noah? Who's this?" I ask, gesturing to Alex to come in. "Who's at the door?"

Noah turns his head and sees Alex smiling at him, rapidly blinking away her tears from behind her glasses as she closes the door behind her.

"Hi, Noah!" she says, giving a small wave to our son and lets go of the extended handle of her carry on.

The look on his face is one of confusion. I can see the cogs turning in his head: Mama went away, but Mama's here now?! Noah looks back at me, then over at Alex once more. Noah goes to stand up on the desk, so I pick him up and place him down on the floor. At first he doesn't move from his standing position beside my chair, and I can see the look of concern on Alex's face.

"Noah? Who's that over there?" I prompt once again as I get out of the chair and crouch down to Noah's level. "Who  _is_  that?"

Noah looks over... then takes off towards Alex as fast as his little legs will take him, " _Mama_!"

With a beaming smile at hearing her name, Alex scoops our son up in her arms before he crashes into her shins and showers his face with kisses while he clings to her tightly.

"Noah?" Alex points to me as I approach, "Who's this?"

" _Mom-mee_!" Noah coos, snuggling against Alex's body.

I can't help but grin proudly at hearing Noah say those very recently spoken names.

Weaving my hand to the back of Alex's head, I pull her closer and share a soft, lingering kiss to let her know just how much we've...  _I've_... missed her.

"You look as good as I feel," Alex murmurs after ending our kiss.

"I could say the same about you," I retort playfully, my hand trailing down Alex's back.

Alex kisses the top of Noah's head, "How long until you finish, Liv?"

"A couple of hours yet... all paperwork. If you want to take Noah home and have a nap-"

"No," Alex shakes her head. "We leave for home, together, as a family."

"Then you're going to have a nap here," I lead Alex to the leather couch in the office, hastily picking up toys strewn all over the floor to make a clear path.

"I won't object to that," Alex toes off her heels and settles on the couch with Noah still in her arms as I hand over his fluffy teddy bear.

I give Alex and Noah each a kiss on their forehead and move back to the desk and observe them from across the room. Over the top of my reading glasses, I can see Alex's eyelids are drooping rapidly. I gather the paperwork I'm reviewing and join them on the couch.

"Sweetheart, lay your head down for me," I indicate my lap and Alex doesn't need any further prompting.

What surprises me the most is that Noah is now resting peacefully on Alex's chest as she lays her head on my lap. It's just like he did with me last night as he slept in my arms. It's the most beautiful sight in the world and I feel so honoured to be the one seeing our son and his Mama sharing such an intimate bonding moment together.

The question remains though: Will Noah be alright? Will he always think he's going to be abandoned like he has in the past if one of us has to go away for a night? To be honest, I think he'll be fine... I think  _we'll_  be fine.


End file.
